Saturday, October 23, 2010

"The Book You Should Read if You Know a Child", again.

Amber, Yes! Yes! Yes! and Yes!!

I started to write this comment after yours from this post, but it just got so long that I decided to do another post on this book. Which is probably the equivalent of blogger not post for weeks on end and then do 2 posts about the same topic within a month. But here I am folks, taking a nose dive into boredom if you didn't care the first time around.

I had to get this out, Amber. Because, while you and I might have been able to come to those conclusions...I've had a really hard time putting it into words. One of my friends said, "Jody, you only like this book because it's how you're already parenting."  And while I see her point, I didn't understand why I was doing things the way I was doing them.

This could be because I'm just not super smart. Or it could be a habit of doing things without knowing the reason why I'm doing them.

For instance, I love to take photos. Several years back, somebody asked me to take photos for their event. They actually offered me money to do something I already loved, so this was a total WIN for me. After that first time more people asked me to take photos. And I printed up some business cards, and bought a website, and hung out my cyber-shingle with the title...photographer. But y'all, I didn't know why I was taking good photos! I just was. I knew aperture had something to do with focus, but if someone would have asked me to explain it I would've said, "I love your interest in photography! And I'd love to tell you everything I know, but I just don't even know where to start....But, wow, those are really cool earrings you have on! Tell me about them...."

Because I couldn't explain it!

One day, though, I decided to wisen up a bit and head down to the JuCo to get me an education. I took a class. A single class on photography that helped me figure out why I was taking decent pictures. After much ado, I finally figured out aperture and depth of field (and most importantly how to use Lightroom). Though I had the "eye" for photography and some natural knack for getting people to do what I want them to do, the class made me a better photographer because I understood the why behind the what.

Its the same way with this book. Finally someone gives the Why! which allows people who don't just have the natural knack of parenting to be able to do it successfully. Or for those of us who do have some natural knack to share it without being labeled a "Growing Kids"or a "Dr. Sears" or "Baby Whisperer" kind of parent. But....I guess I might become a "Hold Onto" gal if I'm not careful.

I also found it refreshing that Hold Onto Your Kids was not about household management. It doesn't tell you to let your baby cry it out or how long tummy time should last everyday. It doesn't say worldview is unalterably set by age 6, so too bad for those of you who missed the window. Its talks about parenting as the life-long journey it is and doesn't relegate platitudes of checklists to make sure your child gets into Harvard.

There's no shortcut to good parenting, but this guy has done his research, and while he does use a lot of big words, he makes the topic manageable and try-able by the general population.

Amber, thanks for another opportunity to get this all off my chest. My goal is to post something else right away so this post can be quickly looked over by the uninterested.

No comments: