Monday, November 30, 2009

"It Would Be Like a Fake Christmas"

For the first year in 13 years of wedded Christmas bliss, I was contemplating buying an artificial tree this year.

There are obviously different kinds of folks in the Christmas tree world. We're not the 'cut your own tree down' folks. Or the 'buy one in a burlap sack' folks. Or 'go the Christmas tree farm on Christmas Eve wearing matching scarves' folks. Before moving here, and let me just draw you a map showing exactly where here is, X will mark the spot.

no X where

(Right in the middle. But it's actually really fun to be here. Come on around some time!)

Anyway, when we lived in an area that had a Home Depot we used to buy our tree at Home Depot.

We'd go as a family, I'd insist Mark bring along his own razor knife, because who wants a tree other people have already looked at and rejected. No. That does not work. I don't want somebody else's rejected Christmas tree.Instead, we (the Mark part of we) cut the ties on the still-wrapped up trees then we (again, the Mark part) shake them out then we (the Me part of we) judge shape to find the one that has been properly pruned for the last 9 years making a beautifully shaped Christmas tree.
Repeat. 9-21 times. This is not Mark's favorite part about Christmas.

I had the thought that perhaps we could buy an artificial tree this year. Mark's still getting the crop out of the field, so he's not very available to go tree shopping with us. And as you can discern from the description, he is an integral, albeit, begrudging member of the tree buying scenario. I can't hold the tree and visually measure up the tree by myself. This is just another reason God gave me a husband. But when I spoke aloud this idea at breakfast this morning, the kids went ballistic. No! No-ooooo! Why?! No! And my melo-dramatic firstborn, "It would be like a fake Christmas!"

One thing we cannot have is a fake Christmas. It must be a real Christmas. We'll continue to suspend our disbelief about certain other aspects about Christmas like:

  • Jesus was probably not born in December, most likely more like September
  • Saint Nick's day is actually December 6, not December 25
  • Santa Claus (spoiler alert!!!) is not real

Sorry, Mark. I tried. I really tried. But the resounding verdict is that we'll wait for you to go tree shopping. Betcha can't wait! (giggle) Hurry home!


mommy4 said...

Mark, you gotta do what the people want. And your people don't want a fake Christmas!

Malissa said...

I gotta say Jody, we cut down our own tree and it is so much fun! We go to Grohmanns farm out by Knoxville and it's easy to judge the tree cuz it's already upright :) Plus they come and pick up the tree, after you cut it, and you and the family ride on the hay rack w your tree. PLUS they shake it out, wrap AND load to your vehicle too! SO FUN!!!
FYI, we did the fake tree and the real are so much nicer and easier to put up :)

Kelly said...

Well... here in fake Christmas land we love our fake, fresh from the box tree! I even broke down this year and bought one with lights already on it!!! Life is so grand! My hubby really doesn't get into the holiday spirit but even he was impressed by the new (fake) tree. hehehe
BTW... I got that special call this afternoon!!!! I'm so excited!!!

Amy said...

Girl, you are so funny. Reading this makes me miss you tons!!

We went fake a couple years ago--real ones are pretty pricey here. I do miss the real deal, but I don't miss vacuuming the fallen needles.