Here's one of those not very fun but I have to get it out posts. Brace yourself.
As you already know my 3 bigger kids have been sick since Sat. Well, after a Dr. appt yesterday we're guessing it's Influenza. You know, flu. Then last night my sweet Litty Bitty, Lydia also started running fever and has a little runny nose.
I discovered that my normally calm, laid-back approach to illness was suddenly completely forgotten and I basically freaked out that my 3 month old had fever of 100. After a call to the Ped. she said to give her Tylenol and if it got above 102 and we couldn't get it down to bring her in.
Personally, I felt like a failure. I couldn't prevent my most vulnerable child from illness. I guess, I thought if wash my hands enough and use enough anti-bacterial hand cleanser she would be safe. All we had to do was be really diligent about keeping germs away and all would be well. When my very ego-centric world view on illness came crashing down at 3:13 a.m. it was not a pretty sight to see.
Today, I've had a little time to reflect and have realized a few things.
1. I tried. I really tried my best to help her not catch the bug. And I really tried to make my other kids comfortable as their bodies fight this bug. I really tried to not complain about my personal exhaustion. I really tried to increase everybody's fluid levels. I really tried to quarantine my children from the rest of the extended family. I really tried.
2. It's not enough. I can never do enough to protect, nurse, help my family from a bad deal. Sometimes they happen.
3. My protector is God, Himself. My physician is God, Himself. My strength is God, Himself. My helper is God, Himself. Are you seeing the pattern here? We are not good enough, strong enough, wise enough, caring enough. We need someone who is. I'm so grateful, today, that God has renewed my mind once again. That I do have a Protector, a Physician, a Refuge, a Helper at my side. I'm grateful for Jesus and the power of his resurrection. It is that same life-altering power that heals my children, that changes my attitude, that comforts me and that holds together this brief time on earth I call my life.
And it is the same God, the Creator of all things who made this: (You know I had to throw in another flower picture! )
His breeze, or perhaps His little bumblebee, sprinkled pollen on the petals of this hibiscus.
And though I don't honestly actually know what pollen has to do with regeneration or reproduction and I don't know how bees pollinate things or how they make honey. (You see, I didn't take Biology II in high school. I switched to Chemistry because there was this really cute guy named Mark in the class) Anyway, what I do know is that GOD designed it and takes care of what belongs to Him. And that He is keeping watch on my family. Anxiety be gone. Trust be present.
Matthew 6:28 See the flowers of the field, how they come up; they do no work, they make no thread
Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.